If only, I could escape the memory of that intense pleasure
we shared
Then maybe I could escape this pain
I bask in the sun of desire
Simultaneously becoming its slave
Ruled once by your tower
Now by God
Trying to construct the monument you desire
Reinventing myself in your image
You filled the hole
I endlessly pursue to fill
Hoping He will
You were in my grip
But now no longer
I’m searching for you incessantly
To walk down the aisle of heaven
To wed you for eternity
The tower was once my life
Now God’s life
A writer’s life
Pencil and penance
Loving you was once my life
Now I’m God’s wife
Writing to heal
To conceal
Imagination
Spirituality
Satisfying you
While feasting on your flesh
Was once all I had
Now no more
Now I live for more
Now I come knocking on God’s door
Filled the empty vessel
Once with your love
Now only memories
Thoughts of you above
Our life in the heavens will be golden
Devoid of the worries of money
Of commitments
Our love with flourish
What I’ve lost in this city will be regained in the next
I’m within the grip of death and desire
Imprisoned by their power
The tower of your love
At the centre of this city
Has been destroyed
Burnt to the ground
All that remains, is an urn, full of dust
Remnants of what it once was
The memories of the ascent of the tower haunt my weary
nights
As I wait to be transported to the next
I dream of the new eternal tower built in its image
In the city to come
I worship the God of my cities
As I wait to find you once again
Writing is my freedom
My futile cry for help
My vain attempt to escape
The grip of death and desire
Your yellow eyes bore into my soul
The day before we released you from the machines
That played the vital role of your organs
In my dreams I see the city
You are there
My lover
My friend
Each night I venture to the city of desire
To escape the empty streets this city of death possesses
But as I wake I’m thrust back
Wake amid the corpses of a life once filled with love
I wallow in the repetitive days of routine
Obligation at the mercy of money
Trying to mix some meaning into the assortment of fiscal
pursuits
Of employment
Qualifications
Accommodation
Liberty in my pencil
As I dream of days
Basking in the sun
Getting stoned and making love
I try to live up to expectations so high
The unattainable pursuit of pleasing
Daydreaming I go to a world where the two cities meet
Become one
Borders cease to exist
Day and night dissolve
Life is filled with warmth and love
But as I daydream
The harsh reality is
That these cities
Are immutably separate
As consciousness can never know the unconscious
The city of death can never truly know the city of desire
Without crossing the border forever
